First. Only. Different.
The words repeat over and over in my mind as I go through my day. Like a mantra. Or a jackhammer. It’s there in rooms with company leadership. In meetings where my voice is talked over and my presence invisible. There is power in them, but not the kind I want. I am not Shonda and, I finally admit to myself, I don’t think I want to be.
I don’t want to fight so hard. I don’t want to crush my bones, constantly butting up against one ceiling or another. I don’t want to sacrifice my well-being for the struggle. I just want to live in a way that feels right and good. And finally I realize that that might be enough.
“They take part in the boldest form of dissent they can manage. Silence. Which says we do not agree. We do not condone. All of this is wrong.”
-Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games